Stop Chasing Yes: The Power of Not Now

By Patricia Brown

I have spent a good part of my career in sales and business development, and one thing I wish I had learned much earlier is that there are more than two answers in sales. We tend to think everything is either yes or no. They booked you or they didn’t. They answered the email or they disappeared. The proposal moved forward or it went nowhere.

But there is a third answer that can be just as important: not now.

I learned this the long way. I once worked through a buying cycle with Kroger that stretched close to two years. If I had decided after the first few months that the opportunity was dead, I would have completely misunderstood what was happening. The opportunity wasn’t necessarily a no. It was moving on the buyer’s timetable instead of mine.

That is a hard lesson for anyone in sales, and I think it is especially important for professional speakers. An event planner may like you and already have this year’s keynote booked. A company may love your topic but have no budget left. Someone may watch your video, remember your name, and come back six months from now. None of those situations gives you the immediate answer you want, but they are not always a rejection either. The real skill is learning what to do next.

Stop Asking the Same Question

I see this all the time in sales, and I have certainly done it myself. We send messages that say, “Just following up,” “Checking back,” or “Wanted to see if you had a chance to review my information.” There is nothing wrong with those emails once in a while. The problem starts when every follow-up is essentially asking the same question: Are you ready to buy from me yet?

If the answer was no last Tuesday, sending the same question dressed in a different outfit on Friday probably is not going to change much. A $7,500 keynote is not more likely to get booked because you sent six versions of “just checking in.”

What I try to do instead is earn the follow-up. Give the person a reason to hear from you. Maybe you have a new video that connects directly with something they told you. Maybe you developed a breakout session that would work well with their audience. Maybe their organization just announced an initiative related to your topic. Sometimes the follow-up can be as simple as, “I saw this and thought of our conversation.” That feels very different from asking, once again, whether they have made a decision.

One adds something to the relationship. The other keeps asking for an answer.

Listen to What “Not Now” Is Telling You

Salespeople have a bad habit, and I include myself in this, of hearing an objection and immediately starting to prepare our response. We are technically listening, but our brains are already three sentences ahead. Over time, I have learned to pay much more attention to what is underneath the answer.

Is it timing? Budget? The topic? Internal approval? Someone else making the final decision? Did they like you but need something you do not have yet? Those are very different situations, and they should lead to very different follow-ups.

One of my favorite questions is, “What would need to change for this to make sense in the future?” Then comes the difficult part: stop talking and let them answer.

You may find out that you need to follow up in three months. You may learn that next year’s conference planning starts in November. Or you may discover that you were never a strong fit in the first place. That information is valuable too because it lets you put your energy somewhere else.

I Would Keep a “Not Now” List

Most people have some kind of sales pipeline. There are hot leads, proposals, closed business and lost business. I would add another category: Not Now.

These are not dead opportunities, but they should not live in your active pipeline either, staring at you every morning and making you wonder why nobody has answered. A Not Now list should tell you why the opportunity did not move forward, when it would make sense to reconnect, what you promised to send, and what matters to that person or organization.

That last part is important. I am not talking about collecting personal details so you can manufacture a relationship later. There is a difference between remembering somebody and using what they told you. If a person shares something personal during a conversation, you do not have to bring it up later just to prove you were listening.

Sometimes listening means remembering, and sometimes it means knowing what not to repeat. Good relationships are built when people feel heard, not studied.

Sometimes No Is No

There is another side to this conversation because I do not believe in chasing people forever. Persistence can be a strength, but so can knowing when to stop.

Sometimes no means no. Sometimes repeated silence eventually becomes an answer. Sometimes an opportunity that looked terrific six months ago is no longer worth another six months of your energy. That does not mean the relationship has to end badly.

If someone chooses another speaker, a gracious response can be very simple: “Thank you for letting me know. I appreciate being considered. Please keep me in mind if another opportunity comes up where my work might be a better fit.”

No guilt, no last-minute sales pitch, and no making the other person uncomfortable because they did not choose you.

People remember how you behave when you get the business. They also remember how you behave when you do not, and I think the second one may tell them even more about you.

The Immediate Booking Is Not Always the Biggest Win

This took me years to understand. Sometimes the purchase order is not the most valuable thing that comes out of the conversation. Sometimes it is the relationship.

The buyer who could not move forward today may change companies. The planner who could not afford you may refer you. The organization that selected someone else this year may remember how easy you were to work with when planning next year.

That is why I no longer think every sales conversation has to be pushed toward an immediate yes. Your job is to listen closely enough to understand the answer you were given. If it is yes, move. If it is no, respect it. If it is not now, pay attention.

Because “not now” does not mean you should keep knocking on the door every week. It means you leave the door open.

And sometimes, if you have done your job well, they are the ones who come back through it.

Patricia Brown is a business development and sales professional with more than 20 years of experience building and managing consumer brands across food, beverage, health and wellness, and beauty. Early in her career, she helped grow an organic food start-up from concept and product development through buyer and distributor meetings, retail launches and on-shelf rollouts, ultimately leading to the company’s sale to a major organic food manufacturer in California. She also worked on the buying side for a health food retailer in Boston, giving her an uncommon view of both sides of the sale—what a brand wants to accomplish and what a buyer needs in order to say yes.

Today, through Living Solutions Now, Patricia works with founders and emerging brands to develop sales strategy, build distributor and retail relationships, open new channels and move opportunities forward. Her approach is rooted in relationship-based selling, listening before pitching, and understanding that long-term business is built well beyond the first purchase order. She is currently developing Listen First, Then Lead, a book based on the lessons, mistakes and relationships that have shaped her career in business development. Learn more at LivingSolutionsNow.com.