By Joe Curcillo |
When you take the stage, you offer more than just a message—you offer yourself. Your story, your experiences, and your viewpoint matter. However, we often get distracted by the details: the slides, the gestures, the script. While these elements have value, they do not truly engage your audience. What truly connects is your authenticity—the moments when they recognize the real you in your words.
To truly engage an audience, you must go beyond your prepared content and tap into your life experiences. Becoming a better speaker isn’t solely about refining your delivery—it’s about exploring your life, embracing your uniqueness, and incorporating your personal narrative into your presentation.
Here’s how:
1. Reflect on Your Past Before Moving On
Your life is your most precious resource. Many speakers get stuck, sticking to the same few stories for every talk. But you didn’t just suddenly appear as you are today. You have traveled a long journey, full of successes, failures, and everything in between.
Reflect on your past. It could be a lesson from your first job or a childhood moment that made you who you are. Explore those events, even the ordinary ones. Audiences seek connection, not perfection. They will remember when you got lost before a big meeting or a conversation with someone that changed your viewpoint.
List five key moments that have shaped you. Then, ask how these moments connect to your message. You might uncover valuable insights.
2. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
As speakers, we often stay within our “comfort zone” and miss the broader perspective. If you are a leadership expert, you may think every story must relate to leadership. But audiences want to see your human side.
Here’s a tip: the most memorable stories are often the unexpected ones. They could stem from a hobby, a side gig, or a time you tried something and failed. Such stories make you relatable and memorable.
I recall a time early in my career when I was delivering materials for a lumberyard. It wasn’t glamorous, nor was it a steppingstone to my current role, but the lessons I gained about dedication and making the most of situations resonate with me. These lessons come into my presentations, not due to a direct link to my career but because they reflect who I am.
Your life involves more than one single path—it’s a vast network. Embrace it all.
3. Allow the Audience to Know You
When on stage, the urge to perform can be strong. However, audiences desire your presence, not a performance.
What does presence entail? It involves letting your true self shine. It means sharing both your achievements and your challenges. It means conversing with the audience as if you were talking to a friend, not lecturing a class.
When you recount a story, don’t just share the facts—immerse yourself in it. Bring your audience into the experience. Ensure they feel what you felt, see what you saw, and learn what you learned. Showing vulnerability fosters trust, and trust fosters connection.
4. Draw from All Aspects of Your Life
Great speakers tend to be versatile. They extract insights from various life areas and weave them into a larger narrative. You may be a business speaker, but your interest in cooking can illustrate patience and creativity to your audience. Or, as a sales trainer, your time coaching youth sports can demonstrate motivation and teamwork.
As I often state, “The more paths you explore, the more connections you’ll make.” These connections—where your interests, experiences, and knowledge intersect—are where the magic occurs. Don’t hesitate to fuse aspects of your life that may seem unrelated. Together, they create your identity.
5. Trust the Path
Your life has prepared you for the moment, even if it seems otherwise. Every failure, every unexpected turn, every unusual event—it’s all part of the narrative you’re meant to convey.
Your audience doesn’t require you to be flawless. They want you to be genuine. They want a reminder that success is not a direct path, that progress can be chaotic, and that the unexpected routes often lead to the most significant outcomes.
So, the next time you get ready for a speech, don’t only think about what you want to communicate. Think about who you are and how you arrived here. Draw from the experiences that have influenced you. Take insights from the paths you’ve taken. And show your audience all of you—not just the speaker, but the individual before them.
Because ultimately, the greatest speakers do not just share a message—they reveal themselves. And that is something unique to you.
About the Author
Joe Curcillo is a speaker, author, and strategist known for his ability to connect diverse ideas and inspire action. With decades of experience as a trial lawyer, mentalist entertainer, artist, and juvenile judge — to name a few careers — Joe combines humor, wisdom, and practical insights to help his clients embrace their unique strengths and live in multiple lanes. He is the author of The Generalist’s Advantage, a powerful guide to cross-disciplinary thinking and personal growth. Learn more at www.TheGeneralistsAdvantage.com
This is wonderful Joe, very informative, and it’s exactly what I needed to hear right now. Thank you.
Good points. Thank you.