How to Lean into Intimidation and Grow Your Speaking

By Scott Carley – The Change Energizer |

For whatever reason, my whole life has been one of intimidation. Maybe it was because my brother was eight years my senior, always a step ahead and setting the bar high. Or maybe it was because I’ve always wanted more for myself and my career, which put me alongside people who were way ahead of me in whatever I was doing at the time. My dad gave me some great advice as a kid: “If you want to be a plumber, don’t ask an electrician. Go find a person who has what you want and ask them how they got there!” Maybe that’s it—maybe that’s the key to leaning into intimidation and using it to grow.

Embracing Intimidation: A Lifelong Journey

What about you? If you want BIG things, you are going to have to get comfortable with intimidation. Intimidation is an inevitable part of any significant growth journey. It’s a signal that you’re pushing your boundaries and reaching for something greater.

I can vividly remember facilitating small workshops and speaking at luncheons with 30 or 50 people. Those were comfortable settings where I felt at ease. Then came the big leap. Bill, a colleague of mine, approached me and said, “I want you to speak at our Fall Summit. There will be about 450 people there.” Woah – I was intimidated by that! National leaders would be in the audience. Who was I to speak to them? That was one of the times I embraced intimidation with curiosity and a sense of mission.

The Power of Curiosity

Intimidation can make you arrogant, humble, or curious. I choose curiosity: What am I about to learn through this? When faced with a daunting opportunity, let your curiosity about the new environment and the people you’ll interact with drive you forward. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this experience? How can I grow from this challenge?

For that Fall Summit, I immersed myself in understanding the audience. I wanted to know their concerns, their goals, and what value I could bring to them. This deep dive not only prepared me to deliver a relevant and impactful presentation but also transformed my fear into a focused drive to connect and inspire.

Leveraging Intimidation for Growth

Here are a few things I recommend for leveraging intimidation to fuel your growth:

1. Lean into Opportunities that Intimidate You: Don’t shy away from opportunities that scare you. These are the moments that will stretch you and help you grow. Every significant opportunity I’ve had came with a healthy dose of intimidation.
2. Let Intimidation Pull You Up to a Higher Level of Service: Realize that you were asked to join or speak at an event because others see potential in you. They have a higher appreciation of you than you may have of yourself. Embrace their belief and let it elevate your performance.
3. Believe in the Belief Others Have of You: Often, others see our potential more clearly than we do. Trust their vision and let it fuel your confidence. When Bill asked me to speak at that summit, he believed in my ability to deliver value to a large audience. I chose to believe in his belief.
4. Transform Fear into Curiosity and Learning: Whenever you feel intimidated, flip the script. Instead of succumbing to fear, approach the situation with curiosity. What can you learn from this experience? How can it make you better?
5. Seek Out Mentors and Role Models: Follow my dad’s advice. Find people who have achieved what you aspire to and learn from them. Their insights and experiences can provide a roadmap for navigating intimidating situations.

The Rewards of Embracing Intimidation

Embracing intimidation has transformed my career. Each intimidating opportunity has been a steppingstone to greater achievements. Speaking at that Fall Summit was a turning point. It opened doors to more significant engagements and collaborations with industry leaders.

One of the highlights of my career was speaking at a global leadership summit. The stakes were incredibly high, and the intimidation was real. But by applying curiosity, innovation, and determination, I delivered a keynote that resonated deeply with the audience. The result? More speaking invitations, higher fees, and an expanded professional network.

Moving Up and Onward

Here’s a crucial point: this approach isn’t about dealing with people who try to intimidate you. Those folks are often dealing with their insecurities. Don’t get caught up in their game. Focus on your growth and advancement. Move up and onward, leaving the naysayers behind.

Intimidation is a natural part of the journey, especially in the high-stakes world of professional speaking. By leaning into it with curiosity, innovation, and determination, you can transform these moments of fear into steppingstones for success. Embrace the challenge, and watch your career ascend to new heights. Today, I stand on stages and work alongside people I’ve always dreamed of, not because I avoided intimidation, but because I faced it head-on and used it as a catalyst for growth.

Your Path Forward

So, what’s your next step? How can you lean into intimidation in your speaking career? Start by embracing curiosity. Dive deep into understanding your audience and their needs. Next, innovate. Don’t be afraid to try new things and push the boundaries of your presentations. Finally, stay determined. Every setback is a setup for a comeback.

Remember, intimidation isn’t a barrier—it’s a beacon, guiding you to greater heights. Lean into it, learn from it, and let it propel you to success. Your journey as a speaker is unique, but these principles are universal. Lean into intimidation, and watch as you break through barriers and achieve the greatness you’re capable of.

Here’s to your continued growth and success—go out there and make it happen! Your future stages await!